Shannon Jokes

Shannon received a phone call from the foreman plant that her husband worked at. He sounded grim and she immediately knew something was wrong.
"What happened? Is Patrick all right? Please tell me he's ok," she said.
The man on the line said, "Shannon, there was an accident at the brewery and your husband is... dead."
"Oh my goodness, what happened?" Shannon asked.
The foreman replied, "He fell into a vat of beer."
"Did he at least die quickly?" sobbed Shannon.
The man paused, then said, "Well, no... he got out three times to use the bathroom."

A blond woman named Shannon found herself in dire trouble. Her business had gone bust and she was in serious financial trouble. She was so desperate that she decided to ask God for help. She began to pray. “God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto. ” Lotto night came and somebody else won. Shannon again prayed. “God, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house, and I’m going to lose my car as well. ” Lotto night came and Shannon still had no luck. Once again she prayed. “My God, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Please just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order. ” Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens opened, and Shannon was confronted by the voice of God more...

An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport."I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman. "He's due to fly in from
America in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years"."Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American."I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all, he's been away for a long time"."I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American."Of course he will," said the Irishman. "Sure, an' I haven't been away at all".