Shape Jokes / Recent Jokes

*** You just can't win, and here are the reasons why: ***
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't more...

*** You just can't win, and here are the reasons why: ***If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, more...

A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"The 60-year-old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"The 60-year-old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."The doctor couldn't believe it. So, he asked, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"The 60-year-old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"The 60-year-old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week more...