Shark Jokes / Recent Jokes

They should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like "Excuse me. .. oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California, our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?"

"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago, I went fishing with a buddy of mine.

We pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big' ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked' em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was out in the front yard with my boy the other day and he was playing with his little friend. He had hit his more...

Then there was the shark who refused to eat a lawyer out of professional courtesy.

[Heard on the radio recently in Ithaca, NY]
"Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend
off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a
shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and
punch it in the nose as hard as possible."
"If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump."

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came
upon two locals pulling another man ashore on end of a rope.
"That's what i like to see", said the priest,
"A man helping his fellow man"
As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing"

Polish loan shark lends out all his money, skips town.

3 Sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten. The first one says: I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy had eaten so much garlic I still feel sick. The second shark says: That's nothing pal! I swallowed Boris Jelzin last week and the old guy had so much vodka in him that I'm still drunk. The 3rd shark laughs and said: You lucky guys! I swallowed George W. Bush 3 weeks ago and the guy has so much air in his head, I still can't dive!

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.