Shooting Jokes / Recent Jokes

Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." LETTER HOME... A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...

Early last week, a 36-year-old grade-school science teacher arrived at school and was unlocking her classroom when she was shot. She was seriously wounded but survived, and at the hospital, she described the shooter as a 19 or 20 year old Hispanic man and said she'd received threatening letters from an anonymous man recently, but had no idea who he was or why he was threatening her. This was the top news story for two days.

++ Now, there are *two* absurd aspects to this story. Number one: As soon as someone discovered the woman had been shot, the school was evacuated and SWAT team members and other authorities were swarming all over the place. All the people evacuated were adult employees of the school, as it was too early in the morning for the kids to be there. The evacuees were herded onto a school bus and, without being given details on what the hell was going on, they were rushed at top speed to........... counseling! We just about fell off our chairs laughing when we more...

Tow Somali burglars broke into a house.
They heard the morning Azan (prayer calls) while stealing. One of them says: "Hurry up, we have to pray!".
The other unintentionally drops the Koran.
His friend yells out: "Damn it, what did you do?" Bang!... bang! He shoots him on the spot!

One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop.
J(ohnny): I want a pistol
S(alesman): Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
J: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...