Shooting Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a father and son in China that were very close. They used to go everywhere together including looking for "chicken" (Chinese slang for prostitute).One day, the son decided to go oversea for study. The father was very
supportive, and before his son left, the father told him, "We cannot
look for chicken together for the next few years. However, if you need
to look for chicken, please go ahead and I will pay for it. But please
state the expense as 'Shooting Bird' so that your mother will not
suspect."So the son left, and after a month, the father received the bill from
the son (shooting bird - $1000).Subsequently, and for the next few months, the bill for shooting bird is more than $1000. Well, the father could not tolerate this, so he wrote to his son. "Son, you have been shooting too expensive bird, try some cheaper one".A month later, the father received another bill from his son. On it he
had written:Shooting Bird - more...
This is a portion of a radio interview between a Female Broadcaster and a Military Man, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, Sir, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
MILITARY MAN: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
MILITARY MAN: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
MILITARY MAN: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
MILITARY MAN: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
THE RADIO WENT SILENT.
INTERVIEW ENDED.
There was a father who was very close to his son. They used to go everywhere together including calling "chicken". One day, the son decided to go overseas for study.
The father was very supportive. Before his son left, the father told the son, "We cannot call chicken" together for the next few years. However, if you need to call chicken, please go ahead and I will pay for it. But please state the expense as 'Shooting Bird' so that your mom will not suspect."
So the son left. For the first month, the father received the bill from the son (shooting bird - $1000). Subsequently for the next few months, the bill for shooting bird is above $1000. The father could not tolerate any more, so he wrote to his son.
"Son, you have been shooting too expensive bird, try some cheaper one"
A month later, the father received another bill from his son. It wrote:
"Shooting Bird - $50, Rifle Repair - $2,000"
A low cost budget film crew was shooting on an Indian Reservoir beach about natural psychic abilities of ancient American Indians.
Suddenly an Indian shows up, walks to the Director and says, “Tomorrow wind Storm, No shooting please. “ Sure enough a storm came and Director saved lots of money.
A few days later, again shooting preparedness was made and the Indian shows up. “Tomorrow hurricane, no shooting please. ” Sure enough a hurricane came and Director saved the money.
The amazing accurate predictive ability of the Indian on snow, rain, ice, blizzard, lightning, thunderstorm, was financially benefiting the Director that he got fond of him.
Now he was reaching towards the climax of the important shooting and waiting for the Indian to come and predict the weather.
The Indian was no where to be found. So he personally went looking for him and found him in a stinking smoking chimney hut.
He went inside, bowed to him in a manners of their ancient more...
A retired gentleman spent most afternoons at the local golf course. Every day he would spend about 3 hours out on the course, playing a round by himself. When he would return to the club house, the resident pro would inquire about his score. "Ed, how'd you shoot today?", to which the man would always reply, "Another perfect par."
The golf pro (being of average intelligence) knew that there was no way the old man was shooting straight par every day, but since he was a regular customer, he didn't want to insult the man by accusing him of lying.
Finally, one day, the pro decided to accompany the old man on his daily round, just to see for himself. On the first tee, the older gentleman sliced the ball way off into the rough. He found his ball, but his second shot was even worse. Finally putting it into the first hole (a par 4) took him 8 swings. The golf pro thought to himself "I knew it. This guy's been lying all this time. There is no way more...
The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson’s Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: “Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting myself. ”
“By shooting? ” reasked the company commander, “Not a bad idea! But take as many cartridges as possible. ”
When asked what he thought about the new squad radio, one Army sergeant told the man from the R&D agency: “This squad radio should be replaced with a good whistle. ”
Little grandson asked: “Granddaddy, when you were in the Army and were posted as sentry at night, were you afraid? ”
“I was, grand sonny, but only until I fell asleep. ”
An old preacher was just getting out of church and was driving home through his neighborhood. As he was turning the corner of one of the major streets in his neighborhood, he noticed 3 boys playing dice on the sidewalk, and betting money along with it. The old preacher thinks to himself how awful the situation is, that these young children are already heading down the life of sin and he should do something to stop it.
The old preacher pulls over and gets out on the opposite side of the street and starts walking over to the boys. He calls out to the oldest looking on and asked the boy to "come here" so that as he's walking towards the boys, the oldest boy would be walking toward him. When the boy reached him, the old preacher asked him what he was doing.
"Gambling, sir" retorted the boy
"Gambling?! How old are you son?" asked the preacher.
"I'm 14"
"14?! Well if you turn that around, you'll be 41. You'll have reached the more...