Shorten Jokes

A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long.
"Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there any way you can shorten it?"
The doctor replied, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you."
So the doctor gives him directions to the witch. The man calls upon the witch and relays his story.
"Witch, my penis is 25 inches long and I can't get any women to have sex with me. Can you help me shorten it?"
The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I have a solution to your problem. What you have to do is go to this pond deep in the forest. In the pond, you will see a frog sitting on a log who can help solve your dilemma. First you must ask the frog, will you marry me? Each time the frog declines your proposal, your more...

A man with a 50 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is
unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his
penis is
too long.
"Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there any way you can
shorten
it?"
The doctor replied, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do
know this witch who may be able to help you." So the doctor gives him
directions to the witch. The man calls upon the witch and relays his
story.
"Witch, my penis is 50 inches long and I can't get any women to have sex
with me. Can you help me shorten it?"
The witch asked him to "Pull it out and let me look at it." The man
uncoils his 50 inch penis. The witch stares in amazement, scratches her
head, and then replies, "I think I have a solution to your problem. What
you have to do is go to this pond deep in the forest. In the pond more...

How can you shorten a bed? Dont sleep long in it.

Work..

 
I don't get anything done on Mondays because I'm so depressed about being back at work after a fun filled weekend.
And I never get any work done on Fridays because I'm so excited about planning another fun weekend.
So, my plan is to shorten the work week to just Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday since those are the only days when I get any work done.
Of course then I wouldn't get anything done on Tuesday or Thursday for the same reason I didn't work on Monday and Friday.
So we might as well shorten the work week to just one day, Wednesday.
Then Wednesday would be awful because it would be the only day I had to work.
So if I worked twice as hard on Wednesday, then I could take the next Wednesday off and have a thirteen day weekend.
The only trouble with that is that it would be hard to remember which Wednesday I was supposed to work and which Wednesday I could take off.
So let's just keep it simple. I might as well take more...

How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.