Shorts Jokes / Recent Jokes
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under you vehicle... From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
Horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Dick
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry Cherry
At the Post:
And they're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs, and Big Dick is in a very dangerous spot.
At the Halfway Mark:
It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs open and Big Dick is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
At the Stretch:
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Dick is making a final drive. Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
At the Finish:
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to more...
As you may already know, THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
And now, for this year's illustrious winner(s):.. drum roll... John
Pernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among them) they sat in the parking lot, and after finishing the beer, decided that it would be easy enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.
The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for John--100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over, and then assist his friend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His more...
HORSE RACE Line up:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Dick
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry
AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.
AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
AT THE STRETCH:
Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
AT THE FINISH:
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate more...
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.
Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.
A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.
"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.
"Oh," said the blonde sympathetically, "that must be painful... I had tennis elbow once."
Why do priests wear shorts in the shower?
They dont like to look down on the unemployed.
Why do priests wear shorts in the shower? They don't like to look down on the unemployed.