Shout Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy goes into a bar, sits down, orders a beer, takes a drink and shouts, "T.G.I.F!!" A woman next to him, orders a beer, takes a drink and shouts, "S.P.I.T.!!"The guy orders another beer, takes a drink, and shouts "T.G.I.F.!!" The woman next to him orders another beer, takes a drink, and shouts "S.P.I.T.!!!" This goes on for quite a while and finally the bartender says to the guy, "Why do you shout 'T.G.I.F'? What does that mean?"The guy answers, "Thank God it's Friday!!"The bartender nods. Then he asks the woman, "Why do you shout 'S.P.I.T.??'The woman answers, "Stupid prick, it's Thursday!!'

A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the German soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide by each climbing a tree. When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..."The Germans, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down."The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..."The Germans, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down."The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo, moo..."

They've finally gone and done it! The parents have arranged one of those "meetings" where the "Any Other Business" is "Would you like pink balloons or red ones at the wedding reception?"

Yes! You're being introduced to a potential marriage partner. But to your horror Prince/Princess Charming(less) has a personality about as interesting as your big toe, wears clothes straight from the Patiala fashion show for Punjabi Farmers, has a face like a Pizza (with extra olives) and worst of all is an Accountant!




So how do you tell them that you're not interested? Well, there are obvious ways to say "Take a hike, Jack (or Jaswinder)!" but that could lead to teary eyes all round! So for your well-being The Funjabis have put together "Ten Ways To Say Get Lost - With A Smile." It may help you to adjourn the meeting more gracefully so you can live to have another one the following weekend!
Wipe your nose more...

this guy got a new car radio you shout soul it plays soul you shout rock it plays he was driving down the street one day and 3 kids ran out in front of him and he shouted fucking kids and the radio played michael jackson

People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room.

Your idea of a good time is an armed robbery at shift change.

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.

You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

You believe prozac should be added regularly to the water system.

When you mention vegetables, you're not referring to the food group.

You call for a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly toward you.

You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow over 150.

You walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize a co-worker and shout, "They've come to get you...".

three brothers(bob billy and joe)were stranded in a desert they were more hungry than anything so they keep on walking. then they sudenly came past a fruit farm. the three brothers ran in different deractions to get their favorite kind. the farmer came out in time to see them, he got his gun and told them this "if you do what i say i will spare you your life! now go get 10 of your favorite kind of fruit!" they all did what he said. bob was the first to come back with 10 grapes the farmer said this "insert all 10 grapes up your behind with out flinching!" bob did what the farmer said but barly got the 1st one in with out flinching so the farmer shout him and bob went to the kingdom of god. billy was the next one to come and the farmer had him do the same thing. billy was on the last one when he laughed the famer thought he flinched so he was shout to. when bob and billy were reunited bob asked billy " how could you laugh at something like that" and billy more...

A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the German soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide by each climbing a tree. When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..."The Germans, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..."The Germans, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo, moo..."