Silence Jokes / Recent Jokes
THE LAST WORDS OF THE THREE NUNS FROM THE CHURCH OF FREE CALIFORNIA Written by David Fowler 1 The sisters of the Church of Free California take a vow of silence for all the days of the month, save one. On that one day a month, the sisters are free to talk all day and as much of the night as they care to stay up. It is sad to report that it was temporary release from their vow of silence that led to the demise of three sisters in the San Bernardino Diocese. They got the day off together and it was their talking that got them killed. Just before the traffic accident, Hope, Faith, and Charity were riding in a car owned by the Diocese. Now the Church of Free California is poor and relies on donations for its needs. People do not donate new cars to the church. They don’t donate cars to the church that can be foisted off on someone teenager in lieu of having to buy a car for the kid. Those cars donated to the Church of Free California are the ones that can’t be sold after six months of more...
( Apologies to all to whom this is not culturally relevant! )
A joke told to me by one of the staff at church on Sunday:
The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
his rather old and crusty parish. As is usual in these cases, a locum was
sent to cover the transition period. This particular man was young and
active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
exciting. As a consequence he was more than a little disapointed with the
dull and tradition-bound church. He decided to do something about it.
For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and vestments,
but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit. The congregation was
horrified! He changed the order of the service. The congregation was
horrified! Then came the children's lesson.
For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table.
The congregation was mortified! He sat there more...
A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune.
"One Australian SAS soldier is better than ten Taliban".
The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One Australian SAS soldier is better than one hundred Taliban".
Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The Australian voice calls out again "One Australian SAS soldier is better than one thousand Taliban".
The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and more...
If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.
DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...