Silent Jokes / Recent Jokes
Silent Labs
Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Observations of colors and smells
Calculations and graph curves like bells
Memories of tests that have past
Oh, how long will chemistry last?
Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Lots of equations that need balancing
Gas pressure problems that make my head ring
Santa Chlorine's on his way
Oh, Please Santa bring me an 'A'.
I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sings "Silent Night".
Age 5 I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
Age 7 I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
Age 9 I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
Age 12 I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Age 14 I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
Age 15 I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
Age 24 I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
Age 26 I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
Age 29 I've learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe more...
Age 3: I learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night".
Age 5: I learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
Age 7: I learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
Age 9: I learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
Age 12: I learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Age 14: I learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
Age 15: I learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
Age 24: I learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
Age 26: I learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
Age 29: learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Age 30: I learned more...
What have you learned??
I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night". Age 6
I've learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Age 7
I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9
I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up. Age 13
I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14
I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me. Age 15
I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice. Age 24
I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures. Age 26
I've learned that everyone has their own opinion...I think I am right but that doesn't mean you are wrong. Age 27
I've learned that wherever I go, the worlds worst drivers more...
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son was old enough for his first drink. Dad took him to the bar and tearfully told the son he was proud of him. Then Dad ordered up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out of the bottom of the son's head! The bar was deadly silent; then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons began chanting, "Take another drink!" The bartender stood still, shaking his head in amazement.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out. The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, cried for his son more...
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs.
The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son was old enough for his first drink. Dad took him to the bar and tearfully told the son he was proud of him. Then Dad ordered up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out of the bottom of the son's head! The bar was deadly silent; then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons began chanting, "Take another drink!" The bartender stood still, shaking his head in amazement.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out. The bar went wild. The father, crying more...
An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent.
The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.