Sin Jokes / Recent Jokes
It is true our cabinet ministers have shed some of
their self-esteem and delusions of grandeur. It is
said that one of them did in fact go to his Guru to
make a confession that he had incurred the sin of
vanity.
'What makes you think that?', asked the guru.
'Because every morning when I look into the mirror as I am shaving, I think what a wonderful and important person I am.'
'Never fear, my dear Minister,' came the reassuring reply,' that is not a sin. It's only a mistake.'
One Sunday, my priest asked if I could cover his Confession shift for him -- he said it was easy, since he had a sin list inside the booth which listed both sins and penance. I agreed and took the booth early on Sunday morning. Soon people showed up. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have committed adultery." "Adultery, eh?" I said. "You sly devil. That'll be three hail mary's, plus five bucks." "Thank you, Father." Another person came into the booth. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have embezzled money from work." "Embezzlement, eh? Naughty, naughty. That'll be 5 hail mary's, plus fourteen bucks." "Thank you, Father." This was easy, I thought. I can handle this. Another person came into the booth. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have commited the sin of butt-sex." "Butt-sex, huh?" I looked at the list, but I didn't see butt-sex there. I excused myself to see if I could more...
The wages of sin are eternal damnation. (the hours are good though)
While the Pope was in St. Louis he decided to grant absolution to three sinners. The first person to come up was Richard Nixon.
The Pope asked, "What is your sin?"
"I hired people to break into the Watergate Hotel."
The Pope replied, "Kneel down. I'll bless you and grant you absolution."
Next in line was Bill Clinton. "What was your sin, son?"
"I cheated on my wife." The Philanderer in Chief replied.
"Kneel down, my son. I'll bless you and grant you absolution."
A third person came up and the Pope asked, "What is your name?"
"Monica Lewinsky." The Pope stroked his chin. "Hmmmm..... Perhaps you should remain standing."
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 U.S. leader
Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float.
Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A: Beat it - we're closed.
Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.
Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P.
Q: What's another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill-dough.
Q: Why more...
The Immense Consequences
The death under any circumstances of a member of the Royal Family would be
a cause for sadness. Had anyone made a list of those whose death might
have been anticipated, Princess Diana's name would have been last on it,
hence the worldwide shock and outpouring of grief: disbelief, anger,
analysis, sadness and perhaps the reluctant beginnings of acceptance.
Strong emotions would have been triggered had any Royal been even slightly
injured in an accident. The sudden, total loss of Diana, Princess of
Wales in a violent car crash is one of the greatest national tragedies to
befall Britain since the Second World War.
The memory of August 31, 1997 will long remain in people's minds: first
we saw the gruesome wreckage of the Mercedes after hitting an underpass
wall at high speed following a reckless chase through Paris from the Place
Vendome to the Pont De L'Alma. By strange twists of fate, the more...