Sits Jokes / Recent Jokes
It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?
. .. It was Mummy Bear who got up first.
. .. It was Mummy Bear who woke everybody else in the house up.
. .. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.
. .. It was Mummy Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper.
. .. It was Mummy Bear who set the table.
. .. It was Mummy Bear who put the cat out, more...
After the Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me' The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" The Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him arepeeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing outthe other fans.The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where hisgrotesque appearance won't disturb anyone else. Finally he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the manin the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there.The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game."The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. Ifit disturbs you, I will move.""It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game."A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits.Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere.Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowingme to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has causedyou to get more...
A little Henry sits at the dinner table, reaches into his plate, picks up a chicken leg, and starts to eat. His mother says, "Henry did you wash your hands?" Henry replies, "No! I don`t want my chicken to taste like soap mom!
Mr. Thadani, a middle-aged Sindhi, is on a plane for Hongkong, in a window seat. Just before take-off, this HUGE Sardar wearing a beautiful suit walks up and sits down beside him. A few minutes later, the plane takes off. All is well For a while. But then, Mr. Thadani realizes that he has to go to the washroom.
That wouldn't be a problem, but he looks over and notices that the Sardar beside him is sound asleep, and Mr. Thadani, being a meek man is afraid to disturb him. So he figures he'll hold it in till Sardarji wakes up. But as luck would have it, the Sardar just keeps snoring away, and Mr. Thadani is feeling increasingly more uncomfortable.
After a while, he starts to feel nauseous as well, what from holding it in combined with the plane ride. He tries and tries to hold it in, but then "AAARRGGHH!!"--he throws up all over the Sardar and his beautiful suit.
He thinks, "Oh, no! Now he's gonna kill me!" and sits there in more...
Yo mama so fat when she sees a school bus she yells "STOP THAT TWINKI!"
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family.
Yo mama so ugly when she goes to the beach cats try to bury her.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat she irons he jeans on the drive way.
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so ugly when she went to an ugly contest, they said no professionals
Yo mama so fat when she weights herself the scale says one at a time pleas
Yo mama so fat she uses weather balloons for condoms
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the beach the people yell "FREE WILLY,FREE WILLY"
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the beach she blocks out the sun
Yo mama's like a door knob, every one get a turn
Yo mama's like a hardware store, 10 cents a screw
Yo mama's like a light more...