Sits Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a bar, feeling depressed, he sits down. The bartender says, "What's wrong?" "I found out my 1st son's gay," he replies. "I'm sorry to hear that here's a free beer." The next day he walks in, again looking depressed. "My 2nd son' gay." So the bartender, feeling sorry for him gives him a drink on the house. The next day he sits down and says "My 3rd son's gay" So the bartender gives him a free drink then he questioned "Does anyone in your family like woman?" The man replies "Ye, my wife!"

What is Pink and Red and sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

Ya momma is soooo fat that when she sits around the house, she actually SITS AROUND the house.

After sixty years of marriage an elderly couple were enjoying the evening, swinging on the front porch and looking at the beautiful sunset.
After a few minutes the ol' lady reaches over and knocks the hell out of the ol' man who goes flying off the porch and into the bushes. The ol' man slowly gets up and makes his way back to his seat next to his wife on the swing.
He sits there for a few minutes and then asks, "What was that for, Ma?"
She replies: "That's for having such a small pecker!"
A few more minutes go by and the ol' man reaches over and knocks the hell out of his wife, who also goes flying off the porch and into the bushes. She slowly gets up and makes her way back to her seat next to Pa.
She sits there a minute and then asks, "What was that for, Pa?"
He replies, "That's for knowing there was more than one size."

One day, a rabbi, a pastor and a priest are all in a boat together, enjoying a morning of fishing.
After a while, the pastor looks at the other two and says, "I think I am going to go over to the shore and sit down." So, he gets out of the boat, walks across the water and sits down on the shore.
A few minutes later, the priest says to the rabbi, "I think I'm going to go over there to join him." He, too, walks across the water and sits down on the shore beside the pastor.
The rabbi thinks to himself, "Well, if they can do it, so can I!" So, he climbs out of the boat, but he falls in the water.
From ashore, the pastor turns and says to the priest, "Do you think we should have told him where the rocks are?"

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the worlds best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "Id like the best beer in the world, give me The King Of Beers, a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "Id like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why arent you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys arent drinking beer, neither would I."

"Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month".

The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "My son, who is "Nookie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say 10 Hail Mary's and stop your sinning."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly, a gorgeous, tall woman enters. All the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest.

Her dress is green and very short, with more...