Sits Jokes / Recent Jokes

She was young, she was beautiful, she was married - and she was with her lawyers seeking a divorce. "What are the grounds?" said the lawyer. "Well, after a year of marriage, I'm still a virgin," she replied. Looking at her, the lawyer found that hard to understand. "What are the circumstances?" he asked. "Well," she said, "I'm married to an IBM salesman. He's a good provider, works hard, works late." This did not seem a promising start and the lawyer indicated accordingly. "But," she continued, "every evening when he comes home he sits at the end of the bed and tells me how good it's going to be - and then he falls asleep." "What are the grounds?" said the lawyer. "Well, after a year of marriage, I'm still a virgin," she replied. Looking at her, the lawyer found that hard to understand. "What are the circumstances?" he asked. "Well," she said, "I'm married to an IBM more...

It's a sunny morning in a big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch and screams, "For gosh sakes, how many times do we have to go through this crap? I haven't made the porridge yet!"

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any instrument in the world.
He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him. .. so he says he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.
A guy walks up with a guitar and sits it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix. So the man pays his $50.
Another guy walks up with a trumpet, The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzy Gillespie. So the man pays his $50.
A third guy walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sets it down with a confused look.
"Ha!", the man says, "can't you play it?"
The octopus looks up at the man and says "Play it? I'm going to fuck it as soon as I get its pajamas off."

It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge," he squeaks?
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge!," he roars?
Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells - "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?"
"It was 'Momma Bear' who got up first." "It was 'Momma Bear' who woke everybody else in the house up." "It was 'Momma Bear' who made the Coffee." "It was 'Momma Bear' who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away." "It was 'Momma Bear' who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper." "It was 'Momma Bear' who set the more...

Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road surfing the Net? The www.izard of Oz.

A young cowboy has been sitting in this bar for an hour or so staring at a beautiful woman when he finally gets up enough nerve to approach her. He sits down beside her and blurts out, "M? aam, I think you? re beautiful and I? d really like to take you home with me tonight."
Instead of getting mad she says, "Fine, I? ll go home with you but only on one condition. You must first out rhyme me." She then tells him, "I sent my pussy out to sea. Can you bring it back to me?"
Well, he sits there a long while and finally he says, "With my hat I? ll make a boat. I? ll use my balls to make it float. I? ll use my dick as an oar and row your pussy back to shore."

If he is late for class, he told, Time and Tide wait for none.
If she is late, then the bus was late.

If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern, says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl, Has he escaped from the Zoo?

If a boy talks with a girl, i think he is trying for her
But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.

When a girl cries, the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries, Come on man: Dont be a girl.

If a girl meets with an accident, then its the mistake of others.
And if a boy meets with an accident, I think you should learn to drive.

If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is mannerless and cultureless brute.
But if a girl sits in the back seat, Try to respect ladies, man!.

If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, Youve to work hard.
But if a girl gets a big rank, still got 33! Reservation.

If there are girls in a more...