Six-year-old Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.
5. When using the ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the more...

guy comes into a bar and asks the bartender for twelve-year-old scotch. The bartender thinks "This guy is pretty pretentious" and proceeds to pour him a drink of six-year-old scotch. He gives it to the customer who takes a drink, exclaiming, "This isn't twelve-year-old scotch, this is six-year-old scotch" The bartender thinks, hey this guy knows what he's talking about, and the two of them get into a conversation about where the customer is from etc..
At one point an old guy, who was sitting at the other end of the bar comes over with a glass and hands it to the customer. The latter takes a drink, and spits it out. "This is piss!" he yells. The old guy nods and says, "Yeah, but how old am I?"

Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, "Okay, you say ass' and I'll say hell'".
All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast.
"Aw, hell," says the eight-year-old, "gimme some Cheerios."
His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to the younger brother. "What'll you have?"
"I dunno," quavers the six-year-old, "but you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Cheerios."

Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, "Okay, you say ass' and I'll say hell'".All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast."Aw, hell," says the eight-year-old, "gimme some Cheerios."His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to the younger brother. "What'll you have?""I dunno," quavers the six-year-old, "but you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Cheerios."

Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, "Okay, you say ass' and I'll say hell'". All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast." Aw, hell," says the eight-year-old, "gimme some Cheerios." His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to the younger brother. "What'll you have?" "I dunno," quavers the six-year-old, "but you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Cheerios."

In Mexico, there's a six-year-old boy fighting to get into medical school. He's been studying on his own and is considered an expert on osteoporosis, diabetes and anemia.
Don't tell me Mexicans don't work harder than we do. At age six I didn't even know how old I was.
This kid started kindergarten by the 1st trimester. His schooling went from nap time and cookies to trying to get some on prom night... That's what half a bottle of tequila and a joint will do to a 45-pound, six-year-old senior.
On a happier note, the government of Haiti has offered to name him Surgeon General and Vice President.

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother saysyour prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does shesay?"The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"