Skates Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a cat and a mouse who went to heaven, and they were there at the same time. Well, the mouse approaches God's throne, and God asks him, "So, how do you like it up here?"The mouse says, "It's nice, but could I get a pair of roller skates?" God says, "Sure." So, the mouse gets his roller skates. Well, the next day, the cat approaches God's throne, and the same question is directed at him. So, he answers, "It's great! I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!"

A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She’s just skating along in her lycra shorts, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman. She decides that she really needs a haircut. She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the hairdresser and says, “I need a haircut. ” The hairdresser checks her out and says, “OK, sit down and take off your headphones. ” “No way! ” shouts the blonde, “If I take off my headphones, I’ll die! ” “Then I can’t give you a haircut, ” replies the hairdresser. So the blonde gets up and leaves and skates further down the board-walk. She sees another salon, goes in, and says to the hairdresser, “I need a haircut… but you can’t take off my headphones or I’ll die! ” The hairdresser looks at her a little weird, but says, “OK, no problem. Have a seat. ” So the blonde sits down and the hairdresser comes up behind her, and when she isn’t looking, he rips the headphones off her head. Suddenly the more...

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to Heaven. There he meets the Lord himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know."

The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."

The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to Heaven. Again the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?"

The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful more...

One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself.

The Lord says to the cat, "You have lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."

The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."

The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven. Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.

The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"

The Lord says, "Say no more...

A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them' How do you like it so far?'

The mouse replied' It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said' Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates.

The next day God saw the cat and asked him' How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied' Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,
'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
The more...

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,
'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
The more...