Skirt Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls," and would his mother,"please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this." So johnny's mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. - first, johnny, I want you to take off my blouse. So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. - ok, now take off my skirt... And he takes off her skirt. - now take off my bra. Which he does. - and now, johnny, please take off my panties. And when johnny finishes removing those, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"

a little boy and girl were playing one day when the little boy opens his pants and says, bet you dont have one of these! The little girl lifts her skirt, looks down, begins to cry then runs home to her mother.The next day, the little girl approaches the boy, lifts her skirt and with a big grin states:My mommy told me with one of these i can get all of those i want!

What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt?
Self-employed

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked,' Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'

The nun replied,' He went that way.'

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,' I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq. .'

The nun said,' I understand completely.'

The soldier added,' I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'

The nun replied,' If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls.... I don't want to go to Iraq either.

One day, a line of people were waiting for the bus at a busy bus station. At the front of the line was a very attractive blonde woman dressed in a black business vest, white blouse, leather skirt, and high heels.
As the bus pulled up and opened the door, she went to board it, but found that her skirt was too tight for her to raise her leg to the required height. Looking around and thinking quickly, she reaches behind her and unzips the zipper on the back of her skirt a little and then tries again.
Again, she finds that she cannot maneuver the step, so once more she reaches behind her and unzips her skirt a little more. With a smile, she looks at the bus driver and tries to board again. With disappointment, she finds that she still can't step that high, and so with exasperation and a sigh, she unzips her skirt the rest of the way down. To her amazement, her leg still will not reach the bottom step.
Finally, Morris, a big guy behind her gently grabs her by the waist, lifts more...

I had been dating this really cool guy for like 2 weeks, and we finally went out.
We saw "the RING" and i was totally freaked, and I had ordered a HUGE pop, and drunk it all.
Anyway, we were really snuggling tight, like our legs were wrapped around each other, and such. Of course, I had to pee bad, but I didnt want to interupt our snuggling, as it might result in, when I got back, not re-snuggling, so I didnt.
At one point, there was this sudden, out of nowhere, loud noise, and it freaked me out, and, as you've probably guessed, I peed.
But, it wouldnt stop. It was really bad.
I was wearing a skirt and so, afer drenching my undies, it trickled down my legs, and since his legs were wrapped around mine, it trickled down his, too...
When he felt it, he jumped up, saw my wet skirt, and yelled, "Did u just pee all over me?" which caused a HUGE disturbance as everyone turned to look at me. He goes, "Well??!!" so I hav to tell him yes and more...

A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another and again tips it down her skirt. Finally, the barman says: "Why are you tipping your drinks down your skirt?" "Well," the chick replies, "I've just won the lottery and this is the only arsehole I'm shouting!"