Slip Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two fellows were talking in a bar when the first fellow says "Hey, what you just said was a Fruedian slip!"
The second fellow said "What? I don't know what you mean"
The first fellow said "You know, when you say what you are thinking instead of what you wanted to."
The second fellow says "I still don't know what you mean..."
So the first fellow says "You know, like when you are standing at an airline ticket counter being helped by a beautiful buxom blonde and you say 'I'd like two pickets to Titsburg"
The second fellow says "Oh! Now I understand! That happens to me all the time. As a matter of fact, it happened to me yesterday when my wife and I were at the breakfast table and I meant to say 'Please pass the milk' but what actually came out was 'You lousy bitch, you've ruined my life'!!!"

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it.
Little Johnny handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as long as there's no homework.

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. Little Johnny handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as long as there's no homework.

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. Little Johnny handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as long as there's no homework."

A man who was going away for some time enjoined his son: "If anyone asks for me, you can tell him that your father has been called away to attend to a minor matter and be sure to ask him in for a cup of tea." Afraid that his idiotic son might forget his instructions, he wrote them down upon a slip of paper and gave it to his son, who tucked it into his sleeve and took it out to look at every now and then. Three days passed without anyone coming to see his father. Thinking that he had no more use for that slip of paper, the boy committed it to the flames. On the fourth day, however, an unexpected visitor dropped in. "Where is your father?" asked the visitor. The boy immediately put his hand into his sleeve and fished around for the slip of paper. As he could not find it, he ejaculated: "No More." Taken aback, the visitor asked: "No more? When did it happen?" "Burnt last night."

Boys
1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip
Girls
1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. Cancel
18. Re-enter code
19. Cancel
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code
21. Enter desired amount
22. Error
23. Enter bigger amount
24. Error
25. Enter maximum amount
26. Cross fingers
27. Take more...

After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"

"Yes, we have, your honor," The foreman responded.

"Would you please pass it to me," The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.

After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court."

"We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of bank robbery," stated the foreman.

The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude.

The man's attorney turns to his client and asks, "So, what do you think about more...