Slowed Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dear Sirs,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 in the Accident Report Form I put "Lost Presence-of-Mind" as the cause of my
accident. You asked in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust the following details will be sufficient....
I am a bricklayer, by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new 6 story building. When I completed my work, I discovered I had about 500
pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry them down by hand, I decided to lower them down in a barrel, using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the building at the 6th floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went to the ground floor, untied the rope, holding it
tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 3 of the Accident Reporting Form, more...
A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic.
What the driver didn’t know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.
Policeman: “License, registration and proof of insurance please. ”
Driver: “Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me for, man. ”
Policeman: “Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back there!! ”
Driver: “Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference!?! ”
The police officer pulled out his night stick and began smashing it over the man’s head and shoulders.
Policeman: “Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.
I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it more...
A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic.
What the driver didn't know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.
Policeman: "License, registration and proof of insurance please."
Driver: "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me for, man."
Policeman: "Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back there!!"
Driver: "Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference!?!"
The police officer pulled out his night stick and began smashing it over the man's head and shoulders.
Policeman: "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.
I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to more...
A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic.
What the driver didn't know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.
Policeman: "License, registration and proof of insurance please."
Driver: "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me for, man."
Policeman: "Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back there!!"
Driver: "Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference!?!"
The police officer pulled out his night stick and began smashing it over the man's head and shoulders.
Policeman: "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?
A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.
Policeman: "License, registration and proof of insurance please."
Driver: "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me for, man."
Policeman: "Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back there!!"
Driver: "Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference!!!"
The police officer pulled the man out of his car, pulled out his night stick and began beating the mans head and shoulders. Bang! Bang! Womp! Bang!
Policeman: "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?"