Smell Jokes / Recent Jokes
This woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she sufferred from excessive farting, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done nothing about it. So the Doctor took down all of her medical history, a process that took quite a while.
At the end, the woman says, "You see, Doctor, while I've been sitting here talking to you I've broken wind five times, but there's no sound and no smell."
At this point, the Doctor scribbled something on a pad, ripped off a sheet and handed it to the woman. "What's this?" she asked, "some pills?"
"No", replied the Doctor, "that is a prescription for a hearing aid; come in next week, and we will operate on your nose."
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.
"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
This woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she sufferred from
excessive farting, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done
nothing about it. So the Doctor took down all of her medical history, a process
that took quite a while.
At the end, the woman says, "You see, Doctor, while I've been sitting here
talking to you I've broken wind five times, but there's no sound and no smell."
At this point, the Doctor scribbled something on a pad, ripped off a sheet and
handed it to the woman. "What's this?" she asked, "some pills?"
"No", replied the Doctor, "that is a prescription for a hearing aid; come in
next week, and we will operate on your nose."
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country. One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!" The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!" The baby mole tried to poke his head out of the hole but couldn't get passed the two bigger moles. Finally giving up, he said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."
you carry your lab safety goggles around with you at all times, just in case...
you don't drink water, you drink H2O.
you start disagreeing with movies and TV shows on scientific aspects.
you carry a base solution around with you at all times, just in case one of those freak Hydrochloric acid spills happen.
you become very agitated when people refer to air as Oxygen, and proceed to list all of the components of air.
instead of writing ozone you write O3.
you start referring to the smell of nail polish remover as an acetone smell.
you no longer ask for Tylenol, you ask for acetaminophen.
you actually enjoy going to Chemistry class.
There's a woman that has a big problem when it came to farting. She farts all the time, yet is never be able to smell or hear them. So one day she decides to go to the doctor about the problem. She tells him how she is always leaving these long, hard farts that she can never smell or hear. The doctor thinks about it and sends her home with some pills, telling her to come back a week later. When she comes back to his office, she tells him how she still is having these horrible farts, but now they smell like rotting eggs. The doctor's only reaction to this was... "It's good to know we cleared up your sinuses. Now to work on your hearing...."