Smell Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day, God went to find Adam and Eve in the garden, but found that Adam was sitting by himself. "Where's Eve?" He asked.
"Well," said Adam, "She started to bleed. This happens every month or so."
"So where is she?" asked God.
"Well, she went down to the river to wash up." replied Adam. Damn," said God, "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish."
I think the war between the smokers and non-smokers is heating up a bit. I went into a restaurant for
lunch the other day and, as is my practice, requested a table in the ``no smoking'' section. They
seated me, and I went about the business of ordering and eating my food.
Somewhere between the clam chowder and a club sandwich, I caught the smell of nearby burning tobacco.
Upon looking around, I noticed the man in the booth next to me smoking a freshly lit cigarette.
Overcoming my natural reticence regarding confrontation, I spoke to the man. ``Excuse me, sir, but,
when you came in, did you ask to be seated in the no-smoking section?''
"Yes, I don't like the smell of smoke when I am eating any more than anyone else."
I asked, "Then why are you smoking that cigarette?"
"I've finished eating."
Silly me, it was obvious to the most casual observer.
I called the server over and made her aware of the more...
1. A VAIN PERSON
One who loves the smell of his own fart.
2. AN AMIABLE PERSON
One who loves the smell of other people's farts.
3. A PROUD PERSON
One who thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant.
4. A SHY PERSON
One who releases silent farts then blushes.
5. AN IMPUDENT PERSON
One who farts loud then laughs.
6. A SCIENTIFIC PERSON
One who farts regularly, but is concerned with pollution.
7. AN UNFORTUNATE PERSON
One who tries to fart but shits instead.
8. A NERVOUS PERSON
One who stops in the middle of a fart.
9. AN HONEST PERSON
One who admits he farted but offers a good medical reason.
10. A DISHONEST PERSON
One who farts and blames his dog.
11. A FOOLISH PERSON
One who suppresses a fart for hours.
12. A THRIFTY PERSON
One who always has farts in reserve.
13. AN ANTI-SOCIAL PERSON
One who excuses himself and farts in private.
14. STRATEGIC more...
The little girl was SO proud of her Christmas presents, her first watch and her first perfume. She really made a pest of herself throughout the morning, going up to all the relatives and sticking that watch in their ear and insisting that they smell her perfume.
The preacher was coming for lunch, but before his arrival, the girl's mother had said, "If you mention that watch or that perfume just once more, I'm going to send you to your room for the rest of the day."
The meal went rather well, and the little girl held her tongue until just when the desert was being served. She wanted to make sure that the preacher, too, knew about her new watch and her perfume: "If you hear anything or smell anything. .. it's me!"
There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.
The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage."
The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes."
The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles... Are you ready for this? :)... The baby mole said, "The only thing I can smell is mole-asses!"