Smells Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here's a handy list to print out and carry with you at all times. Next time ya rip one and someone asks, "what was that?", you can now explain! Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odour.Eggy Fart Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.Windy Fart The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.Growling Fart Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.Worrying Fart The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You more...

A woman works in an office setting. Every morning a man she works with comes in and sticks his nose in her hair, backs away and exclaims, "Boy, your hair smells GREAT!"
This became a regular occurrence, and began to annoy the woman. Day after day this went on. Finally she decided to report him to the Director of Human resources. She said to him, "I would like to file a sexual harassment charge!"
"What do you base this on?" replied the HR Manager.
"Well, you see, every morning a man I work with comes in and sticks his nose in my hair, backs away and exclaims' Boy, your hair smells GREAT!'"
"I'm afraid that this doesn't sound like much of a case," said the HR.
"Well, would it bolster my case if you knew the guy was a midget?" retorted the woman.

Your favorite cologne smells like exhaust.
The fire department leaves after discovering that the fire that destroyed y.
You think its okay to have your 6 year old babysit your 5, 4, and 3 year o.

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with the coworker telling you your hair smells nice?"The woman replies, "He's a midget."

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
The supervisor is puzzled by this and says what's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies, "He's a midget"!

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.The supervisor is puzzled by this and says what's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice? The woman replies, "He's a midget"!

Russian Vodka
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle
laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie.
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant
you one wish, anything that you want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking vodka."
Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss
vodka."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a
glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He looks at the glass and it's
clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So
he takes a taste and it is the best vodka that he has ever tasted.
The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly." She
comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard
and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, that it more...