Smile Jokes / Recent Jokes

Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Q: Why does Santa always smile when the lightening comes?
A: Bcoz he thinks that someone is snapping his photo.

For Christmas this year my wife purchased a week of private
lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape
from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I
decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and
made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a
26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My
wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get
started.

The club suggested I keep an "exercise diary" to chart my
progress.

Day 1. Started the morning at 6: 00 AM. Tough to get up, but
worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was
waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond
hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines
and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She
seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think
just standing next to her in that more...

One day, God and Adam were walking in the
Garden of Eden. God told Adam that it was time
to populate the Earth.
"Adam, you can start by kissing Eve."
"Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam.
God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind
the bush and kissed her.
A little while later, Adam returned with a big
smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's
next?"
"Adam, I now want you to caress Eve."
"Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the
bush and caressed her.
A little while later, Adam returned with a big
smile and said, "Lord that was even better than
a kiss! What's next?"
"Here is what gets the deed done. I now want
you to make love to Eve."
"Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the
bush.
A few seconds later, Adam more...

One day Udurawana just relaxing at a beach. One person who is passing him just smile at him and asked "are you relaxing? " Udurawana returned " No i'm Udurawana " The person get bit upset and continue is walk. The another person did same thing and got same reply from Udurawana. After this happened few more times Udurawana decided to leave from that place.
While he is walking he just saw a man who is lying on a mat and Udurawana asked him that " are you relaxing " and he replied with a smile "yes." Furious Udurawana exclaimed to him " What the hell are you doing here? all people are looking for you over there "

Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the counter with a great big smile on his face.

Dave says "John what are you so happy for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here!

She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I said' Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said' Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave, she couldn't swim!!."

The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the counter with a bigger smile on his face.

Dave says "What are you so happy about today John?"

"Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She said' Can more...

In the afternoon this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake one guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures him to stop. Our guy rolls down the window, "How can I help you?"
"I am the red bastard of the asphalt. You got something to eat?"
With a smile in his face, he hands one of his sandwiches to the red dressed guy and drives away.
Not even five minutes thereafter he comes across another guy. This time the guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop. A bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window. "What can I do for you?"
"I am the yellow bastard of the asphalt. You got something to drink?"
Hardly managing to smile this time he hands to the guy a can of coke and then stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset he decides to go faster and not to stop no more...