Smile Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, God and Adam were walking in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth.
"Adam, you can start by kissing Eve."
"Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam.
God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her.
A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's next?"
"Adam, I now want you to caress Eve."
"Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her.

A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?"
"Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve."
"Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush.
A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a more...

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited!"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
Now the bride comes walking down the aisle and she too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honour notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited!"
The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my entire life."

A smile is like tight underwear...it makes your cheeks go up.

One afternoon, this blonde drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, a guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures for him to stop.
Blonde rolls down the window and says, "How can I help you?"
"I am the red jerk of the highway. You got something to eat?"
With a smile in his face, blonde hands a sandwich to the guy in red and drives away. Not even five minutes later, he comes across another guy. This guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving for him to stop.
A bit irritated, blonde stops, cranks down the window, and says, "What can I do for you?"
"I am the yellow jerk of the highway. You got something to drink?"
Hardly managing to smile this time, he hands the guy a can of cola and stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset, he decides to go faster and not to stop no matter more...

First Time
________________________________
It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put
him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed
as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head
bravely.

He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has
found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body
enses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply
within your eyes and tells you to trust him-- he's done this many
times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give
him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to
hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little
pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the
tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the
slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks more...

Q. Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.

"Seikh Community whose names carry the Surname' Singh' are referred to as "Sardarjis". There are lots of jokes about' Sardarjis' and here is one.
3 Dead Bodies
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened.
First Body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile inspector", says the Coroner.
Second Body: "Stotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds from a lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.
Third Body: Sardarji, 30 struck by lightning.
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one".
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken"