Smile Jokes / Recent Jokes

26 Things That A
Perfect Guy Would Do
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your
independence.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
6. Play with your hair.
7. His hands always find yours.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
11. Never run out of love.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious.
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he
wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it
means a lot to more...

Walking through a supermarket, a young man noticed an old lady following him around. He ignored her for a while, but when he got to the checkout line, she got in front of him."Pardon me," she said. "I'm sorry if I've been staring, but you look just like me son who died recently."I'm sorry for your loss," the young man replied. "Is there anything I can do for you?""Well, as I'm leaving, could you just say' Goodbye, mother!?' It would make me feel so much better." She gave him a sweet smile."Of course I can," the young man promised. As she gathered her bags and left, he called out "Goodbye, mother!" just as she had requested, feeling good about her smile. Stepping up to the counter, he saw that his total was about $100 higher than it should be. "That amount is wrong," he said. "I only have a few items!""Oh, your mother said that you would pay for her," explained the clerk.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

One afternoon this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, a guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures for him to stop. The guy rolls down the window and says, "How can I help you?" "I am the red jerk of the highway. You got something to eat?" With a smile in his face, the guy hands a sandwich to the guy in red and drives away. Not even five minutes later, he comes across another guy. This guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving for him to stop. A bit irritated, our guy stops, cranks down the window, and says, "What can I do for you?" "I am the yellow jerk of the highway. You got something to drink?" Hardly managing to smile this time, he hands the guy a can of Coke and stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset, he decides to go faster and not stop no matter what. To his frustration, he sees more...

One stormy night many years ago, an elderly man and his wife entered the lobby of a small hotel in
Philadelphia. Trying to get out of the rain, the couple approached the front desk hoping to get some
shelter for the night.
"Could you possibly give us a room here?" the husband asked. The clerk, a friendly man with a winning
smile, looked at the couple and explained that there were three conventions in town.
"All of our rooms are taken," the clerk said. "But I can't send a nice couple like you out in the
rain at one o'clock in the morning. Would you perhaps be willing to sleep in my room? It's not
exactly a suite, but it will be good enough to make you folks comfortable for the night."
When the couple declined, the young man pressed on. "Don't worry about me; I'll make out just fine,"
the clerk told them. So the couple agreed.
As he paid his bill the next morning, the elderly man said to the clerk, more...

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face.
The best man says, ''Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited.''
The groom replies, ''I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.''
The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face.
The maid of honor notices this and says, ''Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited.''
The bride replies ''I have just given the last blow job of my entire life.''

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up? You look so excited."
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up? You look so excited."
The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my entire life!"