Snake Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching? Because he had his own scales!
Whats the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake? You can make a pet out of a snake!
A little blind bunny and a little blind snake met each other in the
woods one day and, as neither of them could see themselves, they
decided to feel each other and then describe each other so that the
bunny would know what kind of animal he was and the snake would also
know what he was. The snake ran his tongue over the bunny.
"Why, you are fluffy and soft and have a wet nose" the snake said "you must
be a bunny."
The bunny then ran his paws over the length of the snake and said,
"Well, you are cold, slimy, scaly and hard. ... you must be a
lawyer!"
What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese? Thanks, I'll just have a sliver!
Christmas of 1997, a couple of my Dad's friends decided to cut down their own tree. Upon returning home, the husband was covered in pine pitch, so he started a shower while his wife began to decorate the tree. If only it remained that simple...
Mid-shower, the wife let forth with a huge scream bringing the husband bounding down the stairs wearing nothing but suds. She was pointing under the sofa, shrieking "A snake! A huge black snake crawled out of the tree and slithered under the sofa!"
The husband quickly began his manly-man duty, and got on hands and knees and crawled under the coffee table to get a better look under the sofa. Meanwhile, the wife sprinted outside to get some help, and released their Labrador Retriever from his pen. The dog ran inside the open back door and into the living room. Upon spying the husband in his awkward position, the dog did what any dog with an ice-cold nose would do when meeting someone. Feeling this glacial greeting, more...
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang mail.