Social Jokes / Recent Jokes
How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Social scientists do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.
How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Social scientists do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.
Two New York City social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and viciously beaten," he pleaded.
The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague, "You know the person that did this really needs help."
A retired gentlman went into the social security office to apply for social security After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?"he asks.
The woman says,"unbutton your shirt"
So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. she says"that silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his social security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. she said,"you should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disabilty too."
The social worker asked the bartender "What's the difference between your job and mine?" The bartender replied: "I only had to go to bartender school for 6 weeks and I learned to mix a very good drinks, than wait a couple of hours to have people tell me their innermost thoughts while you went to school for 6 years, paid thousands and thousands of dollars, sit session after session using technique after technique, and you still may never hear them!!!
AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS:- Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift. - Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding? Not if you are the groom. - When dancing, never remove undergarments; no matter how hot it is. - Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you cut. - A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost-effective, but also a proven fly deterrent. - For the groom, at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a nice appearance. Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
Case Report:
Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer's Syndrome
Source: North Pole Journal of Medicine, vol 1 no. 1, December 1997
Author: Dr. Iman Elf, M. D.
On January 2, 1997, Mr. C, an obese, white caucasian male, who appeared approximately 65 years old, but who could not accurately state his age, presented to my family practice office with complaints of generalized aches and pains, sore red eyes, depression, and general malaise. The patient's face was erythematic, and he was in mild respiratory distress, although his demeanor was jolly. He attributed these symptoms to being "not as young as I used to be, HO! HO! HO!", but thought he should have them checked out. The patient's occupation is delivering presents once a year, on December 25th, to many people worldwide. He flies in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer, and gains access to homes via chimneys. He has performed this work for as long as he can remember. Upon examination and more...