Socks Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her? ”
Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, “Now how do I tell my husband that I’ve got really bad breath? I’ve been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he’s lived with me for a week, he’s bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently? ”
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, “Darling, I’ve a confession to make. ”
And she says, “So have I, love. more...
one day there was a man that was having severe headaches. when he went to the doctor the doctor had told him that the only way to get rid of this pain was by cutting of his balls. the man said was uneasy about it and didnt want to but then his head started hurting again so he cut them off. he was feeling so good after that that he went to buy himself a new shirt. as he walked into the door the clerk said " size 30"
the man said "how did you now?"
the clerk said "ive been doing this for 10 years, i know these things"
so the man bought the shirt. he was felling so happy about the shirt thatt he went to buy some socks.
again when he walked in the clerk said "size 12"
"how did you know?"
"ive been doing this for 20 years, i know these things"
the man felt so great about his new socks that he went to buy some boxers
when he walked in the clerk said "size 30"
"nope, size more...
Just in case you haven't finished your Christmas shopping yet, here are a few suggestions. With Christmas coming, this is surely going to be a big help!
Rule #1:When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. "By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men more...
young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?" Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?" The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a c onfession to make." And she says, "So have I, love." To which he more...
SHOPPING FOR WOMEN
1. Park the car
2. Get a cart
3. Fill the cart with useful things in a record time.
4. Put the shopping in a rational way (All the fridge stuff together, groceries in a separate bag, etc)
5. Pay
6. Go back home.
7. Empty the bags and tidy everything up.
SHOPPING FOR MEN
1. Park the car
2. Get into the store.
3. Get out of the store and pick a cart.
4. Get into the store.
5. Stroll through all the corridors of the store.
6. Stop by the magazines and browse the last "Sport Illustrated"
7. Buy a pair of socks, 2 frozen pizzas, a case of beer, Sausages, pistachios and a comic (Optional: Foldable swimming pool in winter, two helmets for the kids in case they are going to use the bicycles, fertilizer (also in winter), some tools that he might use some day).
8. Don't worry about milk, bread more...