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DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you
to read the directions carefully before opening the can.
Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a
16-oz. can. However, the cans are divided into 8 compartments
of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon
to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to
keep drinking it after it's no longer available.
Mac Beer
At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz.
can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans
look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens
itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call
to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't
need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your
empties to the trashcan.
Windows 3.1 Beer
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a
lot like a Mac Beer's more...

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5: 00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1. 37."
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.Mac Beer: At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.Windows 3.1 Beer: The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink more...

DOS Beer:
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in
an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is
divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed
separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are
going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.
Mac Beer:
At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical.
When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients
list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you
are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds
you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
Windows 3.1 Beer:
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like
Mac Beer's. Requires that more...

[To the tune of "American Pie"]

A long, long, time ago
I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines.
And I knew if I had the chance
They could make my modem dance
with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines.

But Help Desk phone calls made me shiver
with every busy they`d deliver.
Bad news on the front page
A 19-hour outrage.

I can`t remember if I cried
when I realized that Steve Case had lied.
But something touched me deep inside
The day the service died.

So bye bye to Amer`ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it`s working just fine.
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this`ll be the day that they die.
This`ll be the day that they die.

Did you write the book of TOS
Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS
If an IM tells you so.
And will you believe the Motley Fool
When he tells you that the service more...

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. At the end of his first day on the job his boss fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"100, 000 dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, more...

So this guy wants to find a gimmick so he finds a gimmick selling tooth brushes. At one of the conventions one of the guys said i sold 5 thousand tooth brushes and the other guy said i sold 10 thousand tooth brushes and then the gimmick guy stands up and says i sold 4 tooth brushes. One of the guys says just 4. yup just 4 he replies. so after the convention the manager talks to him and says hey you gotta find a gimmick ya know we all got gimmicks, so he says ok. And in the next convention one guy says i sold 50 thousand tooth brushes and the other guy says i sold 100 thousand tooth brushes and the gimmick guy stands up and says well i sold 4 million tooth brushes and the worker says you mean 4? NO, 4 million so the worker asked well how did you do that? Well i went to the mall set up a stand got some chips and some dip. a shopper tastes and says " wow this tastes like shit. The gimmick guy replies it is wanna buy a toothbrush?