Son Jokes / Recent Jokes
*** Young son: Is it true Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in
most countries son.
*** Then there was a man who said "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and then it was too late.
*** A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and
the wife takes.
*** When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a
ten-year married man looks happy we wonder why
*** After a quarrel a wife said to her husband, "You know I was a fool
when I married you" And the husband replied "Yes dear, but I was in
love with you"
*** It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss
*** A man inserted an `ad' in the classifieds "Wife wanted". Next day he
receives a hundred letters. They all said the same thing " you can more...
name: email:
heading:
body: Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that, but I'm going Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you now.
Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said
6 + 2 = 8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when more...
One day the Mexican maid announced to her boss's wife that she was quitting. When asked why, she replied, "I am in the family way."
The wife was both surprised and shocked, and asked who it was.
The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."
This time, the wife was horrified and demanded an explanation.
"Well," the maid explained, "I go to the library to clean it and you husband say,' You are in the way'. I go to the living room to clean and you son say' You are in my way'. So I'm in the family way and I quit."
Father: Son, What Do U Want For Your Birthday?
Son: Not Much Dad, Just A Radio With A Sports Car Around It.
St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids. ”
“Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates. ”
A few moments later a second man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers. ”
“Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise. ”
A few moments later a third man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a Military more...
Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom. "Mr. Talbot," said the teacher, "I asked James' Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!" "Well, teacher," said Talbot, "if my kid said he didn't do it he didn't do it!" Father and son left the school, and on their way home Talbot turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me, son, did you do it?"'
An old man was 89-years-old and he wanted to marry a 24 year old girl.
His son told him, "You can't marry a 24-year-old girl."
He said, "Why not?"
The son said, "If you marry a 24-year-old girl, you'll have to have sex with her and that could be fatal!"
He thought about it a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well if she dies, she dies."