Son Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married:
Merry Christmas to you and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering that I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she?
Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost more...
Mother(To Son):-You Behaved Well In Bus Today, I Am Glad You Didn't Throw The Banana Peel On The Road.
Nitin:-I Didn't Mum.
Mother:-Where Did You Put It Then?
Son:-I Just Put It In The Pocket Of The Passenger Sitting Next To Me!
Mister Nene, his wife and his son were returning by train to home in Maharastra after taking a trip of South India. Mister Nene was occupying the lower berth, his wife had the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train.
When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way, the son requested his father to buy him a cup of ice cream to which he readily agreed and got off the train. When they returned, they found that a Gujju bhai who couldn't understand Hindi or Marathi had occupied his son's berth.
Outraged, Mister Nene called the TT and asked him to help. TT was a South Indian who stated that he could not understand Hindi, Marathi or Gujarati so it would be better if Mister Nene explained the whole situation to him in English.
So Mr. Nene explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.
"Dear Bubba, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
- Love, Dad"
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
"Dear Dad,
For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the GUNS!
- Love, Bubba"
At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any guns. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter more...
Son: I Had A Tough Day At The Office
Mom: At The Office (Surprisingly)
Son: Ya, At The Principle's Office
You don't know Jack Schitt! When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story. Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn. Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children. Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull. As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt. Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and together they await the birth more...