Son Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old mountain man in Arkansas was sick and bedridden. He had not been outdoors for a few weeks and had a sharp craving for a meal of wild squirrel. He summoned his half-idiot son into the room and instructed him to go squirrel hunting and bring him back a squirrel or two. He also told his son to be very careful not to shoot the squirrel in the head as he would need its brains later to "tan" the squirrel's pelt. (Tanning a skin using the animal's brains is a common practice in certain areas, it generally takes about one brain to tan one skin). The idiot son spent most of the day searching the woods for tree squirrels, but was not having any luck. Finally, high up in a sweet-gum tree, he spotted a squirrel's head sticking out from a hole. He remembered his Pa's admonitions to save the brains. After deciding he may not have another chance, he shot it in the head, thus ruining the brains. r His sick Pa was upset, "I can't tan that skin without no brains!" he said, more...

Lawyer's daughter Sue
Lawyer's sons Will, Court
Thief's son Rob
Doctor's son Bill
Fisherman's son Rod
Meteorologist's daughters Haley, Sunny
Back Hoe operator's sons Doug, Rocky
Hair stylist's sons Bob, Curly, Harry
Homeopathic doctor's son Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter Mary
Sound stage technician's son Mike
Hot-dog vendor's son Frank
Gambler's daughter Bette
Gambler's Son Chip
Exercise guru's son Jim
Exercise guru's daughter Belle
Cattle thief's son Russell
Painter's son Art
Iron worker's son Rusty
TV show star's daughter Emmy
Movie star's son Oscar
Housewife's son Dusty
Minister's daughters Faith, Hope, Charity
Televangelist's daughter Chastity
IRS agent's daughter Mony
Geneticist's son Gene
Espresso vendor's son Joe
Undertaker's son Barry
Gardener's son Moe
Florist's daughters Rose, Iris
Baker's daughter more...

1. You have two choices in life. You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish your were dead.
2. At a cocktail. party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
3. A lady inserted an ad. in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.".
4. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
5. A woman is incomplete until she is amrried. Then she is finished.
6. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get Married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
7. A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every more...

"Oy vey! I've got good news and bad news about our son." said Mrs. Shapiro to her husband.

"Give me the bad news first!" said Mr. Shapiro.

"Our boy's become a homosexual!"

"Oy! So what's the good news?"

"He's going with a rich doctor!"

St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids."

"Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."

A few moments later a second man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers."

"Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise."

A few moments later a third man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your more...

A camel decided to educate his son who she suspected was getting a little inquisitive.
`Mum, why do we have two humps?` asked the son.
`That is so that we can go for days and weeks without water. We can store it in the humps.`
` Then why do we have very long eye lashes mum?`
`That,` he was told, `is to protect the eyes from the sand in a sand storm.`
`And why do we have bulbous looking feet?`
`That is so that we can travel twice as fast through the desert.`
`Mum,` wispered the young camel, "Now I can understand, humps to store water, long eye lashes to protect eyes from sand storm and bulbous looking feet to travell fast in the desert, then what the hell are we doing in this zoo?`

Little Johnny' s next door neighbors had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.

When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors.

He said "Now, son... that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home."

"I promise not to mention his ears at all" said Little Johnny.

At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand He looked at it's mother and said "Oh What a Beautiful little baby". The mother said "Thank you very much, Little Johnny."

He then said, "this more...