Spanish Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear about the spanish fireman who named his sone Hose A and Hose B?
This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man comes in, taps him on his shoulder, and says, "You're sitting in my seat!" The same Spanish man ignores him and orders another beer. The man again taps him on his shoulder, and tells him he's sitting in his seat. The same Spanish man gets up, leans over the seat, and says. "I don't see your name on it." He sits down again and orders still another beer. "The man says...I know Karate!" The small Latino man says, "I know JUDO! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A GUN! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A KNIFE!"
Extracted from US news papers:
---------------------------
As part of an ongoing feud in Fairfield, Iowa, Ronald Warren Switzer, 39, flew a small plane over the
home of Mike Parsons in July and fired several rifle shots - perhaps the first fly-by shooting in the
U. S.
----------------------
According to Saundra Lewis, a clerk at a Durham, N. C., convenience store that was held up in
February, the robber kept apologizing. He said he was sorry when he began the holdup, then again when
he rejected her plea to think it over, then again just as he fled. A few seconds after leaving, he
returned and said, "I'm sorry - really, I'm sorry," but nevertheless kept the money. In contrast, the
robber of a tobacco shop in Mesa, Ariz., in March not only returned the next night to rob the clerk
again, but chastised her for having been rude to him the night before.
----------------------
In a San Francisco Chronicle story in more...
- Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. - Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. - Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots - Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. - War of Devolution: Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. - The Dutch War: Tied - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the more...
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below. The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your more...
Four linguists were sharing a compartment on a train on their way to an international conference on sound symbolism. One was English, one Spanish, one French and the fourth German. They got into a discussion on whose language was the most eloquent and euphonious.
The English linguist said: "Why, English is the most eloquent language. Take for instance the word "butterfly". Butterfly, butterfly... doesn't that word so beautifully express the way this delicate insect flies. It's like flutter-by, flutter-by." "Oh, no!" said the Spanish linguist, "the word for "butterfly" in Spanish is "maripose". Now, this word expresses so beautifully the vibrant colours on the butterfly's wings. What could be a more apt name for such a brilliant creature? Spanish is the most eloquent language!" "Papillon!" says the French linguist, "papillon! This word expresses the fragility of the butterfly's wings and body. This is the more...
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eight grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice more...