Spider Jokes / Recent Jokes
Aaaack (aak) interj. An utterance upon running directly into a spider web first thing in the morning - and you don't know where the spider is.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v. To go to the cash machine and hit "inquire."
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but *he* "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut more...
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Spider.
Spider who?
You tried to hide her but I spied her. Knock Knock
Who's there!
Spider!
Spider who?
I spider with my little eye! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Spider!
Spider who?
Spider when she thought I wasn't looking! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Spider!
Spider who?
Spider what everyone says. I like you!
Spider, spider on the wall you think your smart you know fuck all, your on a wall thats just been plasterd, now your stuck you stupid bastard.
spider spider on the wall u think your smart u no fuck all ur on a wall thats just been plasterd and now ur stuck u silly bastard
Spider, Spider,
On the wall,
You think your smart,
You know fuck all,
But that wall has just been plastered,
And now your stuck you stupid bastard.
One day superman was flying around trying to think of things to do. He was bored and had no one to talk to so decided to call up some old friends.
He first called spider man and said, "Hey how are you doing, I have not seen you for awhile and thought you might like to hang out." Spider man told him that he was awfully busy and just happen to be in hot pursuit of bad guys at that very moment. He was in the middle of climbing a wall to catch some crooks and was talking on his cell phone so had to go. Superman was beginning to get bummed.
He thought and thought and suddenly came up with Batman and Robin so decided to call. He got them on the Bat phone and said, "Hey guys I'm just out flying around and thought that you guys would like to go chase some girls around for a little while." Batman and Robin said they were sorry but did not have time, they were in the middle of chasing the Joker in their Bat Mobile and really could not talk. "What should I go more...
How do you spot a modern spider? He doesn't have a web he had a website!