Spinal Jokes

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is undergoing surgery today to deal with a case of spinal stenosis.
"And by spinal stenosis," said Anthony Caputy, the doctor performing the surgery, "We mean the experimental serum we invented to keep his feet from morphing back into hooves is wearing off."

John got very bad migraines. Incredibly bad. He would get sick and nauseous. After numerous tests, John's doctor came up with the solution"You have a unique physiology John. Your testicles are pushing back against your spinal column, causing your headaches. There are two remedies. Surgery to remove your testicles in which case the pain will be gone, or medication that will reduce the pain, but you will always have it."After much consideration, John elected to have the surgery. Everything went great and the pain was gone. A few weeks later, John was feeling down and a friend suggested that he go downtown and buy himself a suit. John was told about a suitmaker who could take measurements by looking at someone. John took his friends advice and walked into the tailor shop. A little old man wandered out and looked at John and said:"44 long. Your coat size is 44 long."
Astonished, John agreed.
"Neck size 16 1/2". John was amazed and said so.
"I more...