Sport Jokes / Recent Jokes
After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America's recreation preferences. 1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling. 3. The sport of choice for front line workers is: Football. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball. 5. The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis. 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: Golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become!
Why do artists never win when they play football? They keep drawing!
A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?""Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."
Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former. LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down. LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe. LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor. more...
Q: What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!