Sporting Jokes

One day Fred decided he wanted to take up deer hunting. So Fred went to the local sporting goods stored and asked the shopkepper. "I need a really nice gun to hunt deer with"The shopkeeper gave him a gun and said, "This gun is perfect for any deer"Taking the gun, and jumping into his Jeep the new hunter went into the woods to search for deer. While looking around for his new sport, he saw nothing. Then, when he was just about ready to give up he saw a Bear in the distance. Not wanting to waste this journey he took aim and, BOOM!! When the smoke cleared to his surprise, no bear. Suddenly, Fred felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning, he saw the bear." What the hell do you think you are doing?" asked the bear." I'm sorry, I did mean to, I'll never do it again!" whined Fred." Pull down your pants, just so you understand how serious I am" explains the Bear. Reluctantly, Fred does this and WHAM, the bear screws him up the ass. All pissed off more...

The big city sporting houses were hard hit by the housing shortage. One of them became so crowded on busy nights that it was obliged to entertain some of its customers on the roof. On one such evening, a client and his charming hostess became so excited they fell off the top of the building. Still locked in love's embrace, they landed on the street with a thud, barely missing a passing drunk.
The drunk staggered up to the sporting house door and knocked loud and long.
"Beat it," said the Madam, through a slot in the door. "We don't allow no drunks in here."
"I don't wanna come in," said the drunk. "Jush wanted to tell ya your sign fell down."

What world athletic sporting event is held every four years? The Olympigs!

What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs? Ath-fleats!

In between watching sporting, hunting & fishing shows a couple weeks back … … my wife and I were discussing life and death.
I told her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug. ” She promptly got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.
Some days I hate being married to a smartass.