Spray Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves when the little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."The grandfather smiles. "I'll bet you five dollars you can't.It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole.The grandfather, impressed with his grandson's ingenuity, hands him five dollars... then grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars?"The grandfather replies, "Yes, I know. But that's from your grandma!"

What have men and spray paint in common? One squeeze and they're all over you.

It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

A grandfather and his grandson are raking leaves in the yard when the young boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
"Hey, Grandpa," the little boy says, "I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
"I'll bet you five dollars that you can't," replies the grandfather. "It's much too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He then sprays the worm until it's straight and stiff as a board. Picking it up, he stuffs the worm back into the hole. The grandfather gives the little boy five dollars, grabs the can of hair spray and races into the house.
Some time later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.
"But Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars," the little boy says.
"Yes, I know," replies the grandfather. "That's from your Grandma."

The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge, and Keystone area.They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong? "I feel terrible, "he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns more...

The Forest Service has issued a BEAR WARNING in the national forests for this summer. They're urging everyone to protect themselves by wearing bells and carrying pepper spray.

Campers should be alert for signs of fresh bear activity, and they should be able to tell the difference between Black Bear dung and Grizzy Bear dung.

Black Bear dung is rather small and round. Sometimes you can see fruit seeds and/or squirrel fur in it.

Grizzly Bear dung has bells in it, and smells like pepper spray!