Squid Jokes / Recent Jokes
There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who's driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other and all cars go flying off in different directions. The squid manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the ARMY guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The Air Force guy just shakes his head and says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, "Hey guys, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals." The ARMY guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! more...
Were you born in the Year of the Ass? Consult the Corporate Animal Calendar to find out!
Select the number of the year your birthday end in.
Cock: 0
Maggot: 1
Sheep: 2
Weasel: 3
Cockroach: 4
Hen: 5
Snake: 6
Dung Beetle: 7
Squid: 8
Ass: 9
Blenny: Leap Year
YEAR OF THE COCK: Those born in this year tend to be the most aggressively abusive denizens of he office. Their evil crowing is ubiquitous, and they tend to regard all others as born in the year of the hen, and often become partners in law offices. Watch out for the ones born on the cusp of the Year of the Ass!
YEAR OF THE MAGGOT: These specimens usually become the bitterest of bitter clerks, often degenerating into paralegals in the terminal stages. The maggot yearns to rise up and cast down his masters, yet he knows he never will.
YEAR OF THE SHEEP: Prime exponents of the herd mentality. See them demonstrate loyalty. See them worship the corporate ethic. See more...
A guy goes to a fancy French restaurant. He's feeling adventurous, so he decides to order the squid. He is told that they are kept alive in a small aquarium in the restaurant, so that they are really fresh. As he's ordered squid, he can choose which squid he would like to eat!
He goes over to the aquarium and sees the squid swimming around. There's one squid that looks really sick - it's gone a strange shade of green, and even has strange fuzz growing around it's mouth. The guy is kind of grossed out, but he thinks - this poor squid - it looks really miserable, and no-one's going to choose it! Maybe I should put it out of its misery. So he asks the head chef - Gervaise - to cook up the little runt. Gervaise is surprised, but dips his hand in and grabs the squid.
Gervaise takes it into the kitchen, but as he's preparing to bring his cleaver down on the squid, it just looks so pathetic - twitching around. He can't do it. But still, the customer needs his squid! So he asks his more...
There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was
driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who's driving from McGwire in
South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets.
In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other and all cars go
flying off in different directions. The squid manages to climb out of his car and survey the
damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise
the ARMY guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The Air Force guy just shakes
his head and says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"
The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, "Hey guys, I think this is a
sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of
arch rivals." The ARMY guy thinks for a moment more...