State-of-the-art Jokes / Recent Jokes

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can’t afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own. Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apple’s new Macs that make you say ‘Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago. ’
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object. ” Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced ‘gooey’)
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business more...

STATE-OF-THE-ART
Any computer you can't afford.

OBSOLETE
Any computer you own.

MICROSECOND
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

SYNTAX ERROR
Walking into a computer store and saying...' Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.'

HARD DRIVE
The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced' gooey')

KEYBOARD
The standard way to generate computer errors.

MOUSE
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

FLOPPY
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

PORTABLE COMPUTER
A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

DISK CRASH
A typical computer response to any critical more...

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late? ”
“No”, he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it. ”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it? ”
“It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me, ” he explains.
“Oh really? What’s it telling you now? ” she inquires.
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties…”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties! ”
And the man starts tapping on the watch face and says,
“Damn thing must be an hour fast! ”

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains." Oh really? What's it telling you now?" she inquires." Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"And the man starts tapping on the watch face and says,"Damn thing must be an hour fast!"

A very handsome and even more confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and can't help but ask, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The woman is intrigued and asks, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man taps on the face of the watch and explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."