State Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa arrived in his village from Amritsar in a very sombre mood. His clothes were torn and the geography his body was like a picturesque place affected by earthquake, which had uprooted almost evrything.
When his dear friend Banta saw this state of Santa. He was in a state of shock. Banta enquired from Santa, the reason of this bad state.
Santa informed Banta that when he boarded the flight from Birmingham to Amritsar, he was looking for familiar faces to pass the journey. And he came across his colleague Jack, who was visiting India as a tourist.
Not able to hide my expression, I said, "Hi Jack" from a distance. And suddenly the Air marshals swooped on me and in no time, I was on the ground. On landing at Amritsar, I was handed to the Police and they are responsible for this sorry state. I was saved by the timely intereference of Jack and The Superintendent of Police, who turned out to be from my Wife, Jeeto's village.

Now 2-10 Washington State beat now 0-11 Washington to win the Apple Cup. Because someone had to.

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?"The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying.The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!"The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her.He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?"The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"

Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session. Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. Signs are required to be written in English. You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words. No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office. All citizens must own a rake. Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. One man may not be on another man's back. Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday. It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday. Chicken must be eaten with the hands. It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind. Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck. No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark. Cars are not to more...

Dumb Indiana laws and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.

Indiana Crazy Law Looking for more dumb laws? Check out!
One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.

Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.

All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.

Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.

Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.

State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.

Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.

A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.

It is illegal to sell cars on more...

This was told to me about three years ago by a friend who claims he works with
the father of the "hero" of the story:
During Christmas break from college, the kid wanted to borrow his father's car
to drive to a New Year's Eve party at his fraternity house. He lived in
Massachusetts and the fraternity house was in Vermont. The father needed the
car New Year's Day, and was concerned about the son hitting one of the
roadblocks that police set up all over the place on New Year's Eve. The
agreement that was reached was that the son would be allowed to use the car,
but he would not drink at all. That was, of course, a big mistake on the part
of the father, especially since the kid wasn't 21.
So he drove to Vermont, got completely trashed, and attempted to drive home.
Just before he reached Massachusetts he hit a roadblock. There were a few
other cars stopped already, so he was told to get out of the car and stand in
a line of more...

Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).Cats, like their nemesis, the dog, do get dirty and have a variety of odors, from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember, your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you, you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.1. First, dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is more...