Station Jokes / Recent Jokes
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?"
Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little.
"Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolises.
He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.
The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all", says Jake. He pushes a few more...
John and Cathy were driving through Arkansas farmlands on their way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel
gauge, John decided to stop at the next gas station and fill up. About five minutes later, he spotted one and pulled over to the
high octane pump.
"What can I do fer y'all?," asks the attendant.
"Fill her up with high-test," replied John.
While the attendant was filling up the tank, he started checking out the car. "What kind of car is dat?" he asked, ". . . never
seen one like it b'fore." "Well," responded John, his chest swelling up with pride, "This, my boy, is a 1997 Mercedes Benz."
"What all does it got in it?" asked the attendant. "It has everything," John said. "It has power steering, power seats, power
sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10-deck CD player, 8-speaker stereo, disks brakes all around, leather interior,
digital more...
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger.
Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropoli. He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven' til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.
The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He more...
A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day. Here`s his dynamite speech:
Leddies and Gentulmens,
Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly
speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and
at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible
for getting birth of my son.
We got independent because of great leaders linke Gandhiji who get-outted all more...
If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. I was born intelligent
- education ruined me. A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say.......... Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice? If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. How come "abbreviated" is such a long word? Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
One should love animals.
They are so tasty. Save water.
Shower with your girl friend. Love thy neighbor.
But don't get caught. Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not more...
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He had to get off on station that came up at 4 am. He asked the guy sitting opposite him on the train to wake him up at 4 am and gave him Rs 20 to do so. This guy was a barber, and felt that for Rs 20 the passenger deserved more service. So, when he fell asleep, the barber
quietly shaved off is beard!
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. His wife said, " What's the matter?" He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken Rs 20 from me and has woken up someone else!!!"
Did you hear that all the toilets at the police station were stolen? Yeah... the cops got nothing to go on.