Station Jokes / Recent Jokes

Points to Ponder
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
- Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
- If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
- If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
- I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
- How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
- How much faith does it take to be an atheist?
- I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.
- If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is fog horn made out of?
- If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
- If atheists say there is no God, who do they think pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
- Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
- I believe the only time the more...

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by
train to a conference. At the station, the three
lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three
engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one
ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.
"Watch and you`ll see," answers one of the engineers.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their
respective seats but all three engineers cram into
a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor
comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the
restroom door and says, "Ticket, please" The door
opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a
ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The lawyers saw this and agreed,
it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy
the engineers on the return trip and more...

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump. "What can I do for y'all?" asks the attendant. "Fill `er up with high test," replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before." "Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this, my boy is a 1999 Cadillac DeVille." "What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant. "Well," says the driver, "it has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk more...

Once Santa Went To Jammu By Train. He Came To The Station Very Late So He Get Into The Train When It Was Started. He Climbed In The Last Booge Of The Train And He Sleept There. When He Woke Up The Last Booge Was Droped In Pathankoth. When He Woke Up He Was So Angry So Then He Went To The Station Master & Asked Him For The Complaint Book. He Gave Him The Book & He Wrote In It That The Train Should Not Have The Last Booge If It Has So It Should On The Middle Of The Train.

The following is an actual letter of complaint which I grabbed off the
net many years ago (when it used to be called net.jokes, if you can
remember that long ago!) Unfortunately, I don't have the original
source anymore. Note the date sent and the prices quoted.
Atlanta, Georgia
September 13, 1970
Director
Billing Department
Shell Oil Company
P.O. Box XXXX
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74102
Dear Sir:
I have been a regular customer of the Shell Oil Company for several
years now, and spend approximately $40.00 per month on Shell products.
Until recently, I have been completely satisfied with the quality of
Shell products and with the service of Shell employees.
Included in my most recent statement from your department was a bill
for $12.00 for a tire which I purchased at the Lowell I. Reels Shell
station in McAdenville, N.C. I stopped at this station for gasoline
and to have a timing malfunction corrected. The gasoline cost more...

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it. The woman noticed the letters U. F. O. printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked Does U. F. O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object? The alien answered, No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!

Bill Clinton and Hillary were travelling in a car. They stopped at a filling station. They saw Hillary's young lover there. Bill said to hillary if you were still with him, you were the wife of a filling station owner. Hillary said " NO! Then he would be the president of United States"