Stay Jokes / Recent Jokes

This gay guy walks into the bar and says,"Bartender I am gay but I would like to stay and have a drink."
So he replied," Ok, you can stay if you go to the end of the bar and not mess with anyone."
So the guy accepted and walked away.
A little while after that a big John Wayne Character walks in as says," Bartender, I'd Like a brewsky."
Well, the bartender gave it to him and the Character drank it in one sip.
He slamed down the mug and said,"I fell like a stud bull!" and the gay guy said,"Mooo!"

A beautiful innocent young lady wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve.

Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away."

Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go, Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."

The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a while..."

Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."

The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay." Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you more...

Santa was delivering presents. He went down this one chimney and a woman was lying on the couch in her bra and underwear. She told Santa that she had been very good that year. He said Ho, Ho, Ho gotta go gotta go, got to deliver these presents. She takes off her bra and says now can you stay? He says Ho, Ho, Ho gotta go gotta go got to deliver these presents. Then, she takes off her underwear and says now can you stay. Santa says hey hey hey gotta stay gotta stay cant go up the chimney with my dick this way.

1689--Spanish-German explorer Santa Claus discovers the North Pole, and establishes a small base camp.
1691--Because of harsh and meager living conditions, Claus' crew abandons him.
1692--Claus is rescued by the Viking ship Hvorfor. He returns to Europe, bringing some items along with him from the North Pole. He finds he is able to sell them quite easily, making a small profit.
1703--Claus saves up enough money to buy a small ship and crew, and returns to the North Pole. Upon arriving, he finds his base camp, half-buried but still intact.
1704--Claus returns to Europe with a shipload of North Pole artifacts, and is successful in selling them. He makes enough profit to increase his crew, and buys building materials to expand his polar base.
1705--Claus returns again to the North Pole, and builds quarters for him and his crew, and sets up the Polar Exports Company.
1716--After six shiploads of exports, the European market is flooded with polar artifacts, as more...

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?", Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."
So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
"Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys."
She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

Here's a chance for you men to find out how compassionate and sensitive you are to women. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Simple Duties
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up. (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty. (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom. (-2)
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings. (+5)
But return with beer. (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something. (+5)
You pummel it more...

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN:
Once again, the male staff will be offering courses to women of all marital
status. Please note, homework is mandatory. Attendance in at least 10 of
the following courses is not mandatory.
Combatting the Impulse to Nag
You Can Change the Oil Too
PMS - Learning to Sleep Over at Mother's
How to Fill a Beer Mug
We do not want Stationary for Christmas - PUT ON SLEAZY UNDERTHINGS
Understanding the Female Cause of Male Drunkenness
How to Do All Your Laundry in One Load and Have More Time to Watch Football
Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children so You Could Have Someone Other Than Him to Boss Around
How Not to Sob Like a Sponge When Your Husband is Right
Get a Life - Learn to Kill Spiders Yourself
Balancing a Checkbook - Even You Can Get it Right
You, the Whining Sex
Reasons to Give _ _ _ _ _ _ _ S
How to Stay Awake During Sex
Why it is Unacceptable to Talk About Placentas During more...