Stay Jokes / Recent Jokes

Shortly before taking over as Air Chief from Arjan Singh, P. C. Lal had to spend long hours being briefed about his new charge. As a result he had to stay late in the office to clear his own files. The poor Air Force jawan on guard duty at Air Headquarters had to stay at his post till after 10. 30 p. m.
After a week of suffering he made bold to address the new Air Chief-to-be:' Sir, may I be allowed to ask you a question?' Being permitted to do so he continued:' You stay in office till very late, whereas Air Marshal Arjun Singh left punctually at 5 P. M. Is it that you have not yet understood your work? Or has the workload increased?'
Thereafter P. C. Lal left his office on time.

LEVEL 1: It’s 11: 00 on a weeknight, you’ve had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, “Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I’m cool. ”
LEVEL 2: It’s midnight. You’ve had a few more beers. You’ve just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you’re thinking, “Hey! I’m out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I’m cool. ”
LEVEL 3: One in the morning. You’ve abandoned beer for tequila. You’ve just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you’re thinking, “Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen! ” At level three, you love the more...

1. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not
mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it
snows.

2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic.
Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a
12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along
shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of
their way. This is what they live for.

3. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in
the same store.

4. Remember: "Ya'll" is singular. "All y'all" is
plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

5. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a
55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road,
remember, a lot of folks learned to drive on a
vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper
speed and lane position for that vehicle.

6. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the
humidity". And the more...

This is another story about little Siripala.
One day, after school, at home, Siripala started crying without any reason. His mother, trying to console him, asked why he is crying. He said that he wants to go to his teacher's (She was a pretty female teacher) house and stay overnight there to get extra tuition. The poor mother, who was overjoyed with her son's studiousness, took him to the teacher's house and
let the teacher know his desires. The young teacher was also happy and straight away agrees with them and asked Siripala to stay with her.
In the night, after a very brief study session, Siripala wanted to go to bed. Then the teacher arranged a room for him and asked him to sleep. Siripala started crying. Teacher asked why and Siripala said that at home he sleeps with his mother and he can't sleep along. Teacher was sympathetic and asked him to sleep in her room, on the floor.
After a while, he again started crying. Teacher asked why and he said he is scared to more...

A guy took a blonde out on a date. Eventually they ended up parked at a "lovers point" where they started making out. After things started getting pretty good, he thought he might get lucky, so he asked her,
"Do you want to get into the back seat?"
"NO!" she answered.
Okay, he thought, may be she's not ready yet.
Now he has her shirt and skirt off, the windows are steamed, and things are getting really hot, so he asks again,
"Do you want to get into the back seat?"
"NO!" she answers again.
Now he has her bra off, they're both very sweaty, and she even has his pants unzipped. Okay, he thinks, she HAS to want it now.
"Do you want to get into the back seat NOW?" he asks again.
"NO!" she answers yet again.
Frustrated, he demands, "Well, why not!"
"Because I want to stay up here with you!"

Santas DiversionSanta was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman wasawaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch. Santa declined, saying "Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know."Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to her underwear."OH Santa, won't you please stay?" she begged. Taking a long look, Santa sighedand delivered a not too believable, "Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presentsyou know."Not to be denied, this gorgeous female stripped off every stitch of remainingclothing, smiled and said in the sexiest voice imaginable, "Oh, Santa, pleasereconsider? Stay with me?"With a very pained look on his face, Santa groaned and said very slowly, "Ho -ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents you know."And with that, he turned and left. Two minutes passed, and Santa reappeared, ploppinghimself down on the couch next to the more...

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said "As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
[click] [click]
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was much impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his more...