Step Jokes / Recent Jokes
More cool than funny, but... racecar racecar drawer reward repaid diaper straw warts evian naive [there's a message here, I think!] smug gums star rats step pets step on no pets
Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven... don't step on the ducks."
So, they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.
The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.
He manages to go more...
HOLIDAY RECIPE:
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of Scotch
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of Scotch
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more Scotch's of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 Scotch's of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Scotch another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of Scotchey
Step 13: Bake the Scotch for 4 hours
Step 14: Pour another Scotch of glassey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of Botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts.
One day an old rooster who was the king of the hen house is approached by a young strong rooster who says, "You have been king of this hen house for a long time. It is time for me to step in and take over so I am calling you out. If I can take you in a fight, then I will become king of the roost."
The old rooster replies, "I know I have gotten old and you can probably knock my block off. I really don't want to fight you. I am willing to step down from my position but I want to do it with dignity. Let's have a race. We will race around the hen house three times. If you let me lead the first two laps, I will feel like I have had my final moment of glory and will step down as king of the hen house. You can pass me at the beginning of the third lap, win the race, and step in as the new king of the roost."
The young rooster agrees and the race begins. The old rooster is getting pretty tired by the end of the second lap and the young rooster starts to close in to more...
As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: "Do you know they are all out of step except you?" "What?" asked the recruit innocently. "I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant. The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"
One day there are three drunk teenagers (girls). In the middle of the night they are driving home. The driver swirves and goes off a cliff and all three die.
In heaven there is only one rule don't step on a duck (there are ducks every where). So a few hours later the first woman steps on a duck and gets chained to the ugliest man ever.
So a couple daps later the second woman steps on a duck and gets chained two the second ugliest man in heaven.
So years go by and the third woman is shopping and all of the sudden a handsome man gets chained to her. She then says "
what i didn't step on a duck."
And the man says "
but i did."