Step Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Gerrad, a friend of mine, bought a computer, even though he had never even used a typewriter before. After investigating the computer, he decided to call the help line. A friendly voice explained step by step how his new machine worked. All went well until the voice told him to press the space bar. After studying the keyboard, Gerrad said; "I've got the latest model and it doesn't have a space bar." But after further explanation, he managed to find it.A week later, Gerrad again had problems and called the help line. An instructor was then sent to his house for training. But after a few minutes, Gerrad's head was spinning. "You don't need to go any further," he sighed, I don't understand a thing."To cheer him up, the instructor said: "Hey, there are people who understand a lot less than you. Last week we had someone on more...

Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.
“When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. ”
“If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you. ”

Gerrad, a friend of mine, bought a computer, even though he had never even used a typewriter before. After investigating the computer, he decided to call the help line. A friendly voice explained step by step how his new machine worked. All went well until the voice told him to press the space bar. After studying the keyboard, Gerrad said; “I’ve got the latest model and it doesn’t have a space bar. ” But after further explanation, he managed to find it.
A week later, Gerrad again had problems and called the help line. An instructor was then sent to his house for training. But after a few minutes, Gerrad’s head was spinning. “You don’t need to go any further, ” he sighed, I don’t understand a thing. ”
To cheer him up, the instructor said: “Hey, there are people who understand a lot less than you. Last week we had someone on the phone who didn’t even know where the space bar was! ”

A little boy was in wedding party. As he was walking down the church aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the guests, alternating between the bride's side and the groom's side, put his hands up like claws and roar...so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear!"

You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2. A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire Chicago: It is illegal to give a dog whiskey; Chicago: Kites may not be flown within the city limits; Chicago: Spitting is forbidden In Chicago, it is illegal to fish in pajamas. In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or "otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object" are banned from going out in public.

In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for more...

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

Beware of the toes you step on today. They could be attached to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow.