Step Jokes / Recent Jokes
Thought 1:
The man says:
When we are born, our mother’s get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Thought 2:
The average man’s life consists of - twenty years of having his mother ask
him where he is going;
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
And at the end, the mourners wondering too.
Thought 3:
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind: u take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you. ”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die. ” The man did as he was instructed, just as a more...
One day there were three drunck teenagers. All of them were girls. As they were driving home the driver swerved of the road and over a cliff. When they hit the bottom of the cliff the car exploded.
When they were in heaven they found out that there was only one rule, do not step on a duck.
A few hours later the first woman steped on a duck. She then got chained to the most ugliest man ever. A couple days went by when the second woman steped on a duck and got chaned to the 2nd ugliest man ever.
So years went by and the third woman still did not step on a duck. She was shoping when all of the suddin a hansom man appered next to her. In aw she said "
what i did not step on a duck."
Then the man replied "
but I did."
One day three teenage girls were driving along when they had a terrible accident. They were all sent to heaven.
At the gates, they met St. Peter. He said to them, "Welcome to Heaven. There is only one rule here, don't step on the ducks, don't bother them, just leave them alone. If you do bother them in any way you will be handcuffed to the ugliest person in Heaven for all eternity."
The first teen thought that this was rather funny and in all her laughter stepped back almost falling over.
"QUACK!"
She had stepped on a duck and so she was handcuffed to the ugliest person in heaven.
The other two teens walked around Heaven constantly torturing their unlucky friend.
As fate would have it the second teen stepped on a duck also.
She was handcuffed to the second ugliest person in Heaven.
The two girls sat moping at the fact that they were chained to these people for more...
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.
"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step."
"If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando."When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.""If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
A woman is hurrying along a sidewalk when she hears a voice.. "Stop! Don't take another step!"
The woman freezes, and notices that with one more step she would have fallen into an uncovered manhole.
She moves on somewhat shaken and ready to step down the sidewalk to cross the street when she hears the voice again: "Stop! Don't do it!!"
She stops, petrified, and a second later a big truck rushes by out of control. She leans against a lamp post to compose herself when she hears the voice again, this time quite relaxed.
"I am your guardian angel," says the voice, "I assume you might have a question or two to ask me."
"Just one," answers the woman. "Where were you on my wedding day???!!! "