Steve Jokes / Recent Jokes

[To the tune of "American Pie"]

A long, long, time ago
I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines.
And I knew if I had the chance
They could make my modem dance
with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines.

But Help Desk phone calls made me shiver
with every busy they`d deliver.
Bad news on the front page
A 19-hour outrage.

I can`t remember if I cried
when I realized that Steve Case had lied.
But something touched me deep inside
The day the service died.

So bye bye to Amer`ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it`s working just fine.
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this`ll be the day that they die.
This`ll be the day that they die.

Did you write the book of TOS
Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS
If an IM tells you so.
And will you believe the Motley Fool
When he tells you that the service more...

Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer. "So did you tell her?" asks Jeff. "Yep", replies Bob. "Say, where did you get the six-pack?" Bob informs Jeff. "She gave it to me.""WHAT??" exclaims Jeff, "you just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack??" "Sure," Bob says. "WHY?" asks Jeff. "Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her,' are you Steve's widow?'' Widow?', she said,' no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!' So I said: "I'll bet you a six-pack you ARE!'"

Copied from Ann Lander's Column:
Landers: Santa's 'official' visit has special Claus in military directives.
DEAR Ann Landers: I found this on the Internet and thought it was a hoot. I hope you will print it for Christmas. - Steve Online
Dear Steve: Although the Internet has attracted an amazing amount of garbage, it has also made a great deal of valuable information available to millions of people. Thanks for your charming contribution. Here it is:
This in from retired Air Force Brig. Gen. Bob Clements. Please read.
To: All Retired Military Personnel
Subject: Official Command Visit
This office has been informed of an official visit by Gen. Santa Claus to this base on 25 December. The following directives will govern activities of personnel during this visit:
No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all native mice. Special stirring permits will be obtained through the orderly room.
Personnel will settle their brains for more...

Bill was in a bar looking quite dejected. His buddy, Steve, walked over and asked what was wrong.
"It's my mother-in-law," Bill replied, shaking his head sadly. "I have a real problem with her."
"Cheer up," Steve said. "Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law."
"Sure," groaned Bill, "but not everyone gets theirs pregnant!"

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Bill says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me."

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

Bill says, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her,' You must be Steve's widow.'"

She said, "'No, I'm not a widow."

And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?"

At least 10 stingrays have been killed since "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin was fatally injured by one of the fish, an official said Tuesday, prompting a spokesman for the late TV star's animal charity to urge people not take revenge on the animals.
He said killing stingrays was "not what Steve was about."
"If Steve were here he wouldn't hurt the stingrays.
He'd poke them with a stick until they killed him again."

There were 3 men helping out at a church. There names were Bob, Bill, and Steve, Bob and Bill were salesmen, and Steve was a man who stuttered. the preacher asks them to go out and sale bibles and bring back the money. Bob comes back with 350 dollars the preachers says good job son..you sold 35 bibles that shows the true salesman in you. Bill comes back with 400 dollars, the preacher says good job son you sold 40 bibles that shows the true salesman in you. Steve, who is not a salesman(and remember he stutters) comes back with 950 dollars. The prreacher says now son how could you have sold 95 bibles with no experience and steve says i-iii-ii j-uu-ss-tt s-aa-i-d w-ooo-uu-l-dd y-oo-u l-i-k-ee t-o b-uu-y a b-i-b-l-e or w-o-u-l-dd y-oo-uu j-u-s-tt l-i-k-eee m-ee t-ooo r-ee-aa-dd i-t t-ooo y-o-uu?