Stockin Jokes

It was the night before Christmas, when all through the trailer park
Not a pop-top was poppin', not even Ole Blue barked.
Our stockin's was hung over the space heater with care,
In hopes Santy would fill' em with Viennas and beer.

The kids was alseep in their NASCAR pj's,
Dreamin' of Goo Goo Clusters, Moon pies, and RC's.
And Earlene in her curlers and me in my John Deere cap
Had just settled into our La-Z-Boys for Wheel of Fourtune and a nap.

Then out in the vacent lot I heard such a commotion
I thought it was neighbor Clyde, finally got his T'bird in motion.
I heaved out of my recliner and to the window I flew,
Busted out the screen and hollered for Blue.

The moon was shinin' down on my old wrecked cars
So bright they was sparklin' like rusty old stars.
And I couldn't believe my own hardworking eyes
When a jacked up Ford pickup come flyin' through the sky!

Faster'n Ole Ironhead hs more...

Tonight's my first night as a watchdog,
And here it is Christmas Eve.
The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs,
While I'm guarding the stockin's and tree.
What's that now - footsteps on the rooftop?
Could it be a cat or a mouse?
Who's this down the chimney?
A thief with a beard,
And a big sack for robbin' the house?
I'm barkin', I'm growlin', I'm bitin' his butt.
He howls and jumps back in his sleigh.
I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air,
I've frightened the whole bunch away.
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again,
The stockin's are safe as can be.
Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow,
And see how I've guarded the tree?!

Tonight's my first night as a watchdog and here it is Christmas Eve The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs, While I'm guardin' the stockin's and tree.
What's that now? Footsteps on the rooftop? Could it be a cat or mouse? Who's this down the chimney? A thief with a beard and a big sack for robbin' the house?
I'm barkin', I'm growlin', I'm bitin' his butt. He howls and jumps back in his sleigh. I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air! I've frightened the whole bunch away!
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again. The stockin's are safe as can be. Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow and see how I've guarded the tree!